The Wife

I am guest blogging tonight as Mark is staying in hospital overnight. He says he trusts me so here goes……

Today was his procedure to fit a PEG so that he can take in nutrition when/if his mouth gets too sore. As his mouth has gone from fine to very sore in 48 hours, this seems a realistic idea – but I think he would rather he didn’t have to have one.

Yesterday we realised how much of a team there is in oncology when Mark was helped by Dr’s, the nutritionist, our lovely MacMillan nurse Margaret and the wonderful chemo nurse who looks after, in her words, ‘my Mark’ (also called Margaret I think).

Today I was humbled by Beverly who prepped Mark for his procedure. She was friendly. and funny, and realistic, and positive. She was helped by a student nurse called Faith who had to ask Mark lots of questions – many of them were obvious, but we were rather thrown when she asked Mark if he had any pets at home. However, I think Faith was more thrown when we said, yes a cat and 2 guinea pigs! I don’t think she had encountered that reply before and we all had to work out how to spell ‘guinea’!

I won’t go in to much detail about him having the PEG fitted – he can do that if he chooses, but needless to say it wasn’t pleasant – and I wasn’t even there. Anything that involves sedation is problematic for Mark, but he seemed OK after – if a little sore. He may feel more sore once the pain relief wears off. Writing ‘a little sore’ reminds me of those articles which list typical British understatements such as ‘It’s a bit nippy’ (It’s below freezing and I may get hypothermia), ‘It’s no bother’ (this is the most inconvenient thing I’ve ever been asked to do)………..

It feels strange that Mark is in hospital and I cannot pop over to see him this evening for half an hour as it’s so far away, although I am beginning to remember how to drive ‘London style’, something I had to do daily whilst teacher training. Even Mark complimented me on my driving this morning. Anyone who has ever had the pleasure of Mark as a passenger in a car will know that this is possibly the highest praise that he can give.

Whilst on the subject of praise, I will take the opportunity to end on a slushy note, and let everyone know how incredibly proud I am of the way that Mark is approaching what at times must be overwhelming. I love him very much.

Mark – I hope this meets with your approval. Sleep tight, love from me and the boys xxxxxxx


2 thoughts on “The Wife

  1. Selfy – Mrs that is,

    Thank you so much for taking the time to keep us up to date. You must be spinning so many plates at present, I know all the readers of this site will appreciate you reporting on what has been ‘quite a day’ (if we’re in keeping with the euphemisms theme) for that man of yours as well as you. I know you have the admiration of us all for how you’re coping with it all – even if at times you feel as though you’re not.

    As I was walking the dogs this morning, I was thinking how weird it must be to have a PEG fitted, looking down and seeing something that starts outside and actually goes inside, but not via any natural orifice. The man is a marvel and how he’s taking it all in his stride is an inspiration.

    I know you’d rather it not be the case, as would we, but your steep climb up the mountain is certainly helping us in the foothills keep the ‘traumas’ of a hectic school routine in perspective and reminds us what’s important. I had planned this morning’s assembly on the drama of forgetting where I’d put my hard drive which I wrote about a few weeks back and linking it to an article from TED talks that talks about the need to be still and reflect. Came in early, set up, printed stuff off and wanted to put the said hard drive on the lectern to show the kids after I’d told the story… but could I find it?! Even the Almighty must despair with me – I’d used it to print stuff off, but when I realised I didn’t have it, could I find it? A mad dash to classrooms, staffroom, re check Mem Hall, laptop bag, a quick look around the loo I’d visited were all to no avail until a second visit to the staffroom led to where I’d left it. ARRRGGGHHH!

    Last weekend one of my daughters was driving home from grandparents and en route she got stopped by a policeman who had blocked the road she was travelling on. There had been an incident and the road was blocked. She have to find another way to the M1. She phoned.
    ‘Dad, is mum there?’ (mum is way better at route planning than me)
    ‘She out walking the dogs, what is it?’
    ‘Road’s blocked and I can’t get on the M1. I need another route’
    ‘Okay, where are you?’
    ‘I don’t know’
    ‘I don’t know’
    ‘surely you know where you are. which town you’re in, which village?
    ‘Darling, if you don’t know where you are how can I help you get to where you want to go?’

    Blimey, that struck a chord. How much of life do we drive along without actually taking notice of where we are so that when incidents happen, we don’t know how to get around them?
    Sorry, I’m going off on one – life’s throwing me a few lessons I need to learn. I only hope God doesn’t give me a 3 in my report!!

    Love to you both
    Mogs x


  2. Selfy (Mrs and Mr)

    Thank you for taking the time to update us (Mrs) on how Mark is getting on, we really do appreciate you both letting us know what is happening from day to day. How you are facing up to this difficult but necessary journey. Hopefully the PEG will ease matters of hydration and refuelling and keep popping those pain killers.
    Well it was another fine win for the 2nds this week, their coach was telling me how good his side were this year 53-12 later they didn’t look so good ! I couldn’t help saying when he said that my fly-half (Joe Radley due to illness and injuries) was a good runner that really I was 4 short and my scrum half and fly half were really my inside and outside centres ho hum. We’re heading off to the quiz night tonight but I fear we will struggle on the TV and Films rounds without the Selfs unmatched knowledge in these fields !!

    Reading Mogs talking of climbing mountains I was reminded of my journey up the Alpspitze in Garmisch Partenkirchen during my European Tour of 2013 it was a bit of a haul to the top but the view (see photo on this link) was awesome. I think your view will be even better when you get there so keep on climbing mate, we’re not just in that rucksack, we’re right behind you pushing you along.

    All the best


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